When was the last time you dressed up? Just for yourself? I want to walk you through two different incidents that occurred recently.
Incident 1
A girlfriend of mine sent a picture of herself, all decked up for a wedding, to our class WhatsApp group. These were the reactions that followed:
“Wow, hot mom! Today you’ll be able to hook quite a few fish!”
“Do keep us posted about the kind of fish you hook”.
“We want more information about the kind of fish that had the hots for you”.
Yes, I was one amongst them who reacted in this way.
But my friend’s answer to all this?
“I had no interest in fish. I was so happy with the way I looked myself. I always float on cloud nine when I dress up.”
Kudos to my friend! I know there’s more than one woman out there who feels this way.
Incident 2
I posted a picture of myself on social media. A decidedly glamour shot, because I’d always wanted one.
So, I got myself a makeup artist and a photographer and gave it a shot. No sooner had I posted it, I got messages from male friends in response, and here’s a sampling of what I heard:
- It’s a bad shot.
- I have zero taste
- I have zero sense of aesthetics
Oh, there was a lot more, but Iet’s not bring those comments into the picture.
I have been observing this phenomenon a lot…..many men don’t like dolled up women, women who wear makeup, women who aren’t “natural”. Not because they consider such women slutty (well, let’s face it, men inevitably like their women to be slutty in bed), but somehow, within the zone of familiarity, they just like us natural.
I haven’t been able to figure out exactly why though.
Is it because it pampers their ego to think they have a girl that’s so superior that she doesn’t need to “makeup” for her shortcomings because she has none to begin with?
Or because a glammed up woman looks too threatening and could have roving eyes?
Or is a made up woman synonymous with being insecure? Or does a woman without make-up remind them of their mothers? I’m just speculating here, but why do men feel that their unasked for opinion needs to be factored into how we dress ourselves up?
Anyway, let me stop playing Freud for a change.
The point I am trying to come to is that, just like my friend stated, we DON’T dress up for men, even if others think we do.
We do dress up just for ourselves and we should keep doing that. It’s so heartening to see that as women in our 40s we’ve have reached an evolved state when we know what we see and like in the mirror.
Believe it or not, we CAN accept ourselves better because we know we are worth more than the body statistics and the silly pouts. There’s a beautiful relationship we have built up with our bodies by now. And that shows as confidence.
Now isn’t that an incredible accomplishment all by itself?
