I’ve been closely observing women over 45 (including myself, of course), of late, and talking to them a lot. And through all my conversations, I’ve also observed a common character trait that runs through us women in our 40s.
I feel a kind of restlessness. In them, in myself. Maybe because we have a lot in common as far as our life experiences are concerned.
We have:
- Kept home
- Raised kids
- Worked paid jobs
- Run a household smoothly
- Socialized and entertained guests
- Done a lot of firefighting at home and work fronts.
Let’s face it – we’ve been through many ups and downs, put on a brave face and done our duties, and made umpteen sacrifices – cheerfully – for the happiness of the family.
But How Do We See Ourselves?
When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we see a person who’s a far cry from what we used to be.
We see crow’s feet, droopy eyelids and deepening laugh lines, oodles of fat in the wrong places, sagging boobs, greying hair, tired eyes. But deep in our hearts? We’re the same twenty somethings.
Actually, with most of us slowly becoming empty-nesters, we feel even more energetic than we were in our twenties. Has anything changed about the way we think?
Yes! We’ve surely evolved … which is a brilliant thing, but isn’t there still an uncorrupted, boisterous you lurking behind the carefully cultivated mature woman?
The one that breaks free of the shackles when you are with your dear girlfriends, guffawing loudly, cracking jokes and simply being silly.
Feel a Void?
I feel there’s a void in our lives. The restlessness stems from that.
I see women trying out new things all the time – buying a pet, setting up a new household in a new holiday home, remodelling the old home, planning an expensive holiday, even trying out new looks.
All in an effort to settle the restlessness and fill this unspeakable void. But where’s it coming from?
The truth is, we have time on our hands again to delve deep into ourselves and discover an urge to redefine ourselves; to feel we’re still capable of doing a lot more than we ever tried, that there’s still so much more to us than what the world thinks.
Time to Channelize
My solemn and self-tried advice is this: use this restlessness to touch the inner you and bring forth the courage “to be uncomfortable in your comfort zone.”
In other words, “do something fierce and surprise yourself” (magical words from friends), and really, the sky’s the limit! This is your time to explore new horizons and make friends with the evolved you. Rediscover yourself and give yourself the right to some proper ‘me’ time. You’ve earned it. We all have!
What’s Next!
I can’t stop smiling at this – I used to listen to Billy Joel’s “My life” at full volume when I was a teenager and now listening to “It’s my life” by Dr. Alban.
I’ve gone from hoping my parents would hear Billy and get the message (never happened, of course!) to now listening to a song that’ll convince me of MY truth to myself!
